Lost
by Eiluned
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: Adult
Summary: The thing Jean hated the most about dying all the time was missing her favorite shows. 616, Logan/Jean. 3,059 words.
For dragon_within for the hetfic holiday ficathon.
Notes: dragon_within requested Logan/Jean, Harry Potter or Sawyer/Kate, and I thought, why not try for all three? This isn’t a Lost crossover, honest. It’s not a Harry Potter one, either. Both are mentioned, though, so if you haven’t seen episode 03×06 of Lost, cover your ears and hum really loudly. I hope you enjoy. :) Thanks to my Wenchie for the beta read.
–
Of all thing things that sucked about dying-and there were plenty of things to rattle off on that list-the one Jean hated most was missing her favorite TV shows. She’d come back to life once to find that she had missed an entire season of the X-Files, and that had thrown her completely off of her viewing schedule.
Not that she was addicted to television or anything-she would only admit to being addicted to books in mixed company-but she had her favorite shows, and it really irked her to have to shell out too much money for DVDs or hope that Bobby had tivo’d all of the episodes she’d missed while she was dead.
Before her last death, she had gotten terribly addicted to Lost. She had always had a soft spot for science fiction, having grown up watching Star Trek with her father, and Lost really filled the space that the X-Files had left when it got crappy.
And then she died right in the middle of the second season.
It had really pissed her off.
Luckily, she wasn’t the only addict in the X-Men. Bobby and Hank were as hopelessly hooked as she was, and Jean was pleasantly surprised to find that Kitty had come back to the mansion with a raging obsession to rival Jean’s. Even Piotr watched religiously, which surprised Jean almost as much as finding out that he had also come back from the dead.
Jean had actually hugged Kitty when the young woman had produced the season 2 DVD set and mentioned that season 3 was on the DVR in the rec room.
And so Jean had been spending all of her free time catching up on missed episodes. Theories flew back and forth over the table at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, generating rolled eyes from everyone outside of Lost Addicts Anonymous, as Bobby liked to call their little clique.
“What is so bloody interesting about that show?” Emma had asked once, and was promptly drowned out by at least six cheerfully babbling fans.
Everyone not addicted had learned at that point not to invite debate as to the quality and/or interestingness of Lost.
Jean had somehow made it through season 2 without spoiling herself, mostly through judicious-and probably unethical-use of telepathy to get Bobby to shut the hell up about new episodes while she was in earshot.
–
Logan found Jean in the rec room, her eyes glued to the TV, a glass of wine forgotten on the coffee table.
“Dammit,” he grumbled, and the TV appeared to pause itself when Jean turned to look at him.
“What?” she said with an impatient twist to her mouth.
“Hockey game’s on,” Logan said, crossing his arms over his chest.
Jean frowned at him. “I think the DVR is recording it. I’m watching Lost.”
“Jeez, you aren’t done with it yet?” he teased. “You’ve been watching it every night for two weeks.”
She made a face at him, and he chuckled to himself, dropping down to sit on the other end of the couch. “You didn’t miss half of two seasons on account of being dead, so hush and let me finish,” she replied. “I’m on the last episode anyway.”
“So, what’s going on?”
Jean stared at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Logan, I can’t explain three seasons of Lost to you. It’s too complicated. And I can’t believe you live in this house and haven’t seen any episodes.”
He shrugged. “I’ve seen a couple. I know their plane crashed and weird shit’s been going on. Something about a polar bear. Just tell me the most important thing that’s going on in this episode.”
Jean leaned toward him, suddenly so obviously into it that it made him chuckle. “Don’t laugh. Okay, so Sawyer, the criminal guy, Kate, the-”
“The criminal girl.”
“Right, and Jack, the doctor, have been captured by the Others. Jack’s locked in some aquarium room, and Sawyer and Kate are being kept in cages out in the jungle. The main bad guy, Ben, wants Jack to perform surgery on his spinal tumor, but Juliet, another one of the Others, wants Jack to accidentally-on-purpose kill Ben.”
“Okay.”
“Sawyer and Kate are being forced to do hard labor, and this one guy whose wife was killed by another Lostie…er, another person from the crash. Anyway, this guy hates Sawyer for some reason and is looking for any reason to kill him. Kate’s worried because she’s secretly in love with Sawyer.”
Logan laughed. “She’s secretly in love with him?”
Jean gave him a mock-glare. “Yeah. Well, maybe not secretly. She said that she loves him a couple of episodes ago to keep the angry guy from beating Sawyer to a pulp, but she’s trying to play it off now because she’s terrified of screwing up another relationship. This episode’s flashbacks are of her failed marriage. Oh, and there’s a sort of love triangle thing going on between Sawyer, Kate, and Jack. Kate’s sort of bounced around between the two of them for the past two seasons.”
“Ah. So, what’s going on right now?”
Jean looked at the TV, which was paused on a dark, greenish room. “Juliet’s made Kate go and try to talk Jack into doing the surgery on Ben. And Kate’s only doing it because Juliet said the angry guy would kill Sawyer if she didn’t,” Jean explained. “So, do you have enough info to watch without peppering me with questions?”
He smirked at her. “I’m fine, darlin’. You go on and watch.”
Jean unpaused the show without touching the remote-one of the perks of being telekinetic, Logan thought-and Kate started crying.
–
Logan ended up grabbing a book left on the coffee table after a few minutes, not because he wasn’t interested so much as he had no idea what was going on, even with Jean’s quick-and-dirty summary. And so he was thoroughly engrossed in Harry Potter when Jean suddenly leapt off of the couch and whooped.
Logan stared.
“Uh,” he said.
Jean did a thoroughly ungraceful pirouette and flung herself back onto the couch. “YES! Finally!”
She stared disbelievingly at the mystified look on Logan’s face. “Weren’t you watching? Sawyer and Kate just got it on!” she said.
“Oh. Uh, damn. No, I was reading.”
Jean rolled her eyes at him. “They just had an angsty moment and then had hot cage sex.”
Logan had to put the book down; he thought he might hurt himself laughing and didn’t want to mess up some poor kid’s copy of The Half-Blood Prince. “Hot cage sex?” he wheezed between laughs. “Oh, I’m sorry I missed that.”
Jean whacked him with a pillow, laughing. “Shut up! It was great! Finally, after so much tension was built up, they gave into their desires.”
“Now you sound like a romance novel.”
“Okay, fine, they got it on. But it was great. I’ve been waiting for this since season one,” she said, rubbing her hands together with glee.
Jean unpaused the show again and settled back onto the couch, engrossed. Logan, on the other hand, watched her; it was good to see her cheerful, as she had seemed faintly out of sorts ever since she came back. Not that he could blame her, of course. She had come back this time with more power than he’d ever seen her wield; not being a psychic, he wasn’t completely clear on it, but it seemed that the Phoenix was all hers now, and she seemed to be doing a good job at keeping it under control.
The thing that had worried him the most was having her come back to find that Emma had taken up seemingly permanent residence in Scott’s bed. But Jean seemed to be taking that in stride as well. The room got chilly when the three of them were together, but Jean, it seemed, had moved on as quickly as Scott had.
Logan wasn’t going to get his hopes up, though, for anything between himself and Jean. He had pushed her away too hard back when she and Scott were on the rocks. He still wanted her, still loved her, but back then, he hadn’t wanted her to come to him out of a sense of revenge or desperation. So he’d pushed. Lied and said that it would never work between them.
He watched her profile for a moment longer before turning his gaze to the television.
..
“God, I can’t believe they left it off there!” Jean groaned, her head in her hands. “What an evil cliffhanger.”
“Don’t worry, Red. I’m sure they won’t kill off the pretty boy.”
“He’s not a pretty boy,” she retorted. “He’s… rough.”
“A bad boy?” Logan said, amusement coloring his voice.
She stuck her tongue out and laughed. “Yeah, he’s the bad boy.”
Logan slung his arm over the back of the couch. “So, explain something to me. Why do you want what’s her name-”
“Kate.”
“Yeah. Why do you want Kate to go for the bad boy? I mean, doctor versus con man?”
“How did you know Sawyer’s a con man?”
“I said I’d seen a few episodes. Answer the question, Red.”
Jean put her heels up on the coffee table, stretching out her legs. “Well… it’s not like the doctor is the most wonderful guy in the world. He has serious issues, too. And Sawyer’s a bad guy, but there’s more to him than that. There’s a lot more underneath his bravado, but he just doesn’t like to let it show. I suppose I want Kate with Sawyer because… they mesh.”
“Mesh?”
Jean fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “Yeah. They complement each other. Kate’s not a completely good person, either. Jack knows this, and it’s always seemed like he’s judged her for it, even though he cares about her. Sawyer knows, and he doesn’t judge. He accepts her and everything she is.”
Logan appeared to mull over this for a moment. “Good point.”
Jean stared down at her lap for a moment, lost in thought. “Yeah.”
“I’m sure the ‘hot cage sex’ helps, too.”
Jean flung a throw pillow at his head.
–
New Year’s Eve rolled around a few days later, and Jean found herself itching with the urge to escape. Everyone had plastered on smiles and laughter, but underneath the surface, Jean could feel the overwhelming sadness. They were starting a new year without their mentor, not to mention many of their friends. Jean had come back into a very different world.
She slipped out of the back door, shrugging into her coat before stepping out into the chilly night. The sky was still mostly clear, with only a few clouds hovering to the north. Nearly full, the moon hung huge and silver in the sky, its light winning out over the glow of New York City to the south.
The world had shifted while she was gone; friends back from the dead, other friends stripped of their powers, and–on a more personal level–Scott had moved on. Jean had hoped that he would; she had always felt guilty for what happened with Madelyne. It was unfair of her to expect the world to fall right back into place for her, and she had come back this time with no such illusions. She and Scott had spent hours talking, arguing over what should happen between them.
She told him then that she didn’t want him back. Too much had gone wrong, they had both changed too much for it to work.
She had walked away. And he had walked back to Emma.
Jean didn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt, but deep inside, she knew it was for the best.
Wandering across the lawn, she buried her hands in her coat pockets and wished she hadn’t forgotten to pick up a pair of gloves. Her mind tingled a little with someone else’s presence, and she realized that she wasn’t the only one who wanted to get away that night.
“It’s awfully cold out here, darlin’,” a voice said from the shadowy trees, and she walked over to lean against a trunk beside Logan.
“Yep,” she replied, tilting her head back to gaze up through the leaves.
“Felt like taking a walk?”
Jean sighed, her breath fogging in the cold air. “It’s harder to keep everyone else’s thoughts out now,” she said. “And everyone’s so sad, even though they’re trying to hide it. I just couldn’t take anymore. I had to get away from everyone for a while.”
Logan pushed off of the tree. “Do you want me to leave?”
Reaching out, Jean took hold of his sleeve. “No,” she said. “You don’t have to. I… don’t want you to go.”
He nodded and rested his hand against the tree beside her, his body distant but curving around hers. Jean smiled a little; she couldn’t help being reminded of when he had first joined the team. He pushed and flirted and put himself in her space, anything to provoke a reaction. He wasn’t doing that now; his pose was more protective than anything, but he was still provoking a reaction.
No matter how much she had resisted back then, she had always wanted him. And over the years, when he had been torn apart, had torn himself apart and put himself back together, she had fallen in love with him. She had never acted on it; her sense of loyalty to Scott was too strong, but it had always been there, buried far from the front of her mind. She had only kissed him once; he had kissed her a dozen times, at least, but only once did she reach out to him. He had pushed her away, said something that neither of them believed, and the more she thought about it, the more grateful she was.
When she kissed him again, she didn’t want anything standing in her way. No anger, no guilt, no betrayal, just what they both felt.
Sliding her fingers into his hair, she kissed him.
It was a brief kiss, but not a chaste one. She parted her lips against his before pulling back, letting out a shaky breath. His surprise tickled her mind, along with a warm brush of desire.
“What was that for?” he breathed.
Jean let out a breathy laugh, wondering if he’d gone back and watched that episode of Lost again to see what he’d missed. “Because I wanted to kiss you,” she said softly.
He made a noise in the back of his throat, a soft growl that made her skin tingle a little. “Well… do you want to kiss me again, or am I going to have to kiss you this time?” he rumbled, and she laughed again, stepping closer to him.
His arms slid around her waist, and she pressed her body against him, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. She brushed her lips against his, teasing herself as much as him, holding back from the hard, deep kiss she knew was coming until they were both practically trembling with anticipation.
Logan broke first, sliding one hand to the back of her head and slanted his lips against hers, pushing his tongue past her lips. She met him move for move, kissing him back the way she wished she always could have, pressing as close to his body as she could.
They finally broke apart, breathing hard and fast. “Jeannie,” he whispered, spreading his fingers over her back as if he wanted to touch all of her at once. “Are you sure? I mean, there’s a lot of stuff that I remember now. Stuff that ain’t pretty. I’m… I’m not a good guy.”
“Do you remember what I said to you before I died on Asteroid M?” she asked quietly.
He tried to look away, but Jean cupped his face in her hands, making him look her in the eye. “I said that it doesn’t matter who you were. What matters is who you are now,” she said. “You control yourself.”
“I keep falling back, Jeannie,” he murmured.
“Don’t we all?” she replied gently. “Look who you’re talking to, Logan. I know a bit about losing control of myself, too. But does that make me a bad person?”
He looked at her for a long moment. “No. It doesn’t. Because I know you, Jeannie. I know who you are inside.”
“And I’d like to think that I know you pretty well, too, by now,” she said with a smile. “I said I could never hate you because-” she took a deep breath “-I couldn’t say anything else then. But I can say it now.”
He leaned in and kissed her gently. “You don’t have to, darlin’,” he whispered against her lips.
He lifted his head suddenly, looking back toward the mansion. “They’re all cheering. Must be midnight,” he said.
“I can’t think of a better way to ring in the new year,” she said with a grin, then gasped when he pressed her back against the tree.
They kissed long and slow, until Jean felt like her body was overflowing with warm, comfortable desire. She’d been pressed against him before, but this time, knowing that nothing was going to stop them from pressing up against each other naked as soon as they could get to a bedroom, it was a million times better.
“Mmm, c’mon. Let’s go inside, darlin’,” he murmured, nuzzling her cheek.
Twining her fingers with his, they walked across the lawn together, shoulders brushing together comfortably. “Hey, Logan?” she said.
“Yeah?”
“I love you, you know.”
She watched him grin from the corner of her eye and smiled to herself.
“It’s too bad the Danger Room doesn’t work anymore,” Logan said, and she gave him a curious look.
“Why is that?”
He shrugged lightly. “I’m sure it had a jungle cage programmed in there somewhere. You really seem to like the idea of hot cage sex–”
Laughing, he let her tackle him to the damp grass, pulling her hips against his and kissing her. “Wouldn’t you rather do this inside?” he teased. “I’m a tough guy and all, but it’s pretty cold?”
“Mmm, good point,” she said with a grin. “Hot bed sex sounds even more appealing than hot cage sex.”
End
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Apr 13 2010